How Latanya Got Her Groove Back…..Sort Of…

Who is Latanya? What does she like? What are her dreams? What drives her? These are questions you would think Latanya would know how to answer. I mean who would know Latanya better than Latanya…..well simply put, for the past 20 years everybody besides Latanya knew who she was……or rather what they wanted her to be.

I honestly cannot remember being genuinely happy. I cannot recall a moment in my life where I was at peace. I have always felt forced, unheard and insignificant. I am not saying that there were never happy moments where I would smile or laugh every now and again, I am just saying I cannot remember being in a state of complete bliss and experiencing pure joy. I do laugh, I love to laugh. I find it to be the ultimate medicine, but saying that I was happy…I can never say that. I am blessed, always have been and by the grace of God I always will be. I have been and am still overcoming rough times with my family. We have been through a lot, but we always made it through.

Things are not perfect now, but I can see it getting better. I am getting to know myself. Learning what I like, what I don’t like, why I do the things I do and while I feel the way I do. I must say I am enjoying this process…exploring myself. I realize that I am very interesting. Very different. Very versatile. And that is one of the reasons why I decided to start this website and created this blog. For years I felt misplaced, worthless, unwanted, unappreciated and sad, this way I can share my journey with the world and those who feel the same can know they are not alone, and also utilize the resources I found and created to elevate and love themselves.

I am doing things that I never could do before, things like keeping a journal, express my feeling, staring at myself in the mirror, look at myself naked, express myself sexually, disagreeing with someone…..and the list goes on. I was literally powerless, I am on the journey to regain my power. A power taken from me at such a young age, I don’t even know what it feels like to have it.

I have realized that all hope is not lost for me. I can find my true self in all this chaos that was created to be me. I can learn to live, love and genuinely laugh. I can practice Being Alive!

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