Who is Latanya? What does she like? What are her dreams? What drives her? These are questions you would think Latanya would know how to answer. I mean who would know Latanya better than Latanya…..well simply put, for the past 20 years everybody besides Latanya knew who she was……or rather what they wanted her to be.
I honestly cannot remember being genuinely happy. I cannot recall a moment in my life where I was at peace. I have always felt forced, unheard and insignificant. I am not saying that there were never happy moments where I would smile or laugh every now and again, I am just saying I cannot remember being in a state of complete bliss and experiencing pure joy. I do laugh, I love to laugh. I find it to be the ultimate medicine, but saying that I was happy…I can never say that. I am blessed, always have been and by the grace of God I always will be. I have been and am still overcoming rough times with my family. We have been through a lot, but we always made it through.
Things are not perfect now, but I can see it getting better. I am getting to know myself. Learning what I like, what I don’t like, why I do the things I do and while I feel the way I do. I must say I am enjoying this process…exploring myself. I realize that I am very interesting. Very different. Very versatile. And that is one of the reasons why I decided to start this website and created this blog. For years I felt misplaced, worthless, unwanted, unappreciated and sad, this way I can share my journey with the world and those who feel the same can know they are not alone, and also utilize the resources I found and created to elevate and love themselves.
I am doing things that I never could do before, things like keeping a journal, express my feeling, staring at myself in the mirror, look at myself naked, express myself sexually, disagreeing with someone…..and the list goes on. I was literally powerless, I am on the journey to regain my power. A power taken from me at such a young age, I don’t even know what it feels like to have it.
I have realized that all hope is not lost for me. I can find my true self in all this chaos that was created to be me. I can learn to live, love and genuinely laugh. I can practice Being Alive!