Though I was not raised in what I would term as an ‘ideal’ family, there were benefits from being raised how I was raised. Of these numerous benefits, there are two very important lessons that I have learned, which are the keys to my survival today. They are:
To Support Myself
If you have been reading my blog, you would know by now that my family wasn’t my biggest cheerleader. Arguably, they were not my cheerleaders at all, they were the providers of my basic needs….that’s it. But the reality was that I needed much more than basic needs. I needed love, encouragement, support, people to laugh with and share my ideas, to share my dreams and my fears and all the other things that people yearn for in life. I needed the emotional support that I saw most of my friends getting either from their families or peers.
Today, however, I am learning to provide myself with my emotional needs. I am learning to love and encourage myself, live my dreams, face my fears, give myself a pep talk now and again and to laugh and cry when I need to. This is extremely important to learn, because, in life, you may not have anyone to provide these things, so you need to know how to reach inwardly and create supply within yourself from which you can pull from. There are various ways I am learning how to do this such as, reading books, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts about self-love, love in general, self-care, self-help, finding peace and just being happy. I also spend a lot of time on social media. I use it as a distraction to get away from my surroundings when I am home, so instead of following celebrities, Instagram models and tabloid pages, I follow pages centered around mental, self-love, peace of mind and things that I yearn to have. These simple activities are making me stronger, emotionally independent, stable, self-aware and resilient. It allows me to have peace of mind. Especially when friends or other family members disappoint me, I can support myself and stand on my own.
To be financially literate
Finances were not my family’s strong suit. We never spoke about money. Speaking about it was taboo in my household. There were times in my life where I can remember us being dead broke, and other times we were living our best lives. It became clear to me from high school that my parents mismanaged their money, and I was determined since then not to follow in their footsteps. I started saving and doing things to spend less. But due to subconscious programming (making the same mistakes they did without even knowing), I fell into the same trap, and this very day I am in so much debt it’s scary. I owe student loans, medical bills and a personal loan I borrowed from a friend OVER A YEAR AGO! Not a very good way to start life, I know.
With that being said, I had to examine my parents earning, spending and saving patterns and then examine mine. I decided to do the opposite of what they did, but little did I know that it was not as simple as that. I learned through Instagram that it is not just about saving money, it is about being financially literate. I was also introduced to the books Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. These books opened my eyes. I could not afford the hard copies but I found the audios on YouTube to listen to them. These are books I listen to all the time and make notes as I do. I think they are a must-read for EVERYONE. Because of my family’s financial mishap, I am currently learning how to become financially literate so we can live a much better life.